Notes on the Harsh Truthes of a Non-Dream-Like Vision

"In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows, they learned to swim"

For those familiar with the next lines in the song, this post's for you.

Last night I dreamt the craziest thing. My dreaming mind manifested an anthropomorphized version of The Catholic Church -- in my dream, the Church was a woman, a short nun-like Italian lady who was very, very angry at me. And rather than listen to her accusations, what did I do? I made every rude gesture known to man, flipped her off, gesticulated wildly, uttered foul remarks, did things I wouldn't do in front of my non-Catholic mother, and ultimately spit on her. I spit on an anthropomorphized version of the Catholic Church across a dinner table in a dream. And it felt fucking awesome.

And why? Because last night at dinner -- actually in-reality dinner, not the dinner in my dream -- my real-life Italian father had the nerve to insinuate that his youngest daughter, who up until recently was nearly about to undergo the most beautiful transformation from Whore of Babylon to wedded wife (we're talking about me here), was less than pure. Well, jeez, dad, I did live with a guy for nearly 7 years...

The contempt at which he suggested that I was in the situation I'm in because I "gave away the milk for free" (yes, he actually said it) and that I "gave in" to a man instead of staying on the path of "virtue" made me want to vomit.

Is he for real? I mean, is he for real??? And this on the heels of the guy I've been dating for the past 6 weeks breaking things off, because he was worried that I may want a relationship and he wasn't interested in anything beyond casual.

Newsflash, dumbass, neither was I. Why do you think I was dating you, hot stuff?

Is this really the world we live in? Is it just these Italian men or do men today still think sex is their game and everything else is ours?

Sigh. I'm really at a loss. I wish I could wax poetic about the injustice of this double standard especially in our contemporary world. But I'm actually too shocked to know what to say. All I know is that any man who thinks sex is more important (or less "special") to him than it is to a woman, ought to wake up.

It's not modern times or women's lib, jackasses, it's biology.

And we don't do it for you nor is it something we give to you nor is it something you can scare us away from -- not even my big Italian father can intimidate me into a new-found appreciation for "virtue." What's it going to take for us to prove our sexual power -- spitting on nuns in dreams?

Seems like a pretty feeble vision in an equally feeble reality -- reminds me how stupid men are. And I was just starting to respect them again...