Alone in the Valley

"The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech..."

I wonder if I've ever before felt so far away from anything comforting or felt so alone. The last few days have been filled with my re-living the feeling of total desperation I felt when everything I thought my life was, dissolved into thin air. It's been months since he left, and months since I've felt so low, but here I am wandering alone in the valley and I avoid speech for lack of ears to listen and lack of confidence in myself.

And, do I even have anything worthwhile to say?

I'm heartbroken for everything I thought I had that never existed. And I'm so fearful that I will never find my way out of the darkness and fog of disappointment to something good.

The dichotomy of good and evil, female and male, yin and yang, fair and unjust is so strong in me right now that I feel pulled and drained by this fight. I was left, abandoned and alone by someone I wholly devoted myself and my energies to - by someone I worked so hard to nurture and care for and, though I'm not alone in my pain, loneliness, or rejection, I feel a million miles away from a kindred spirit or even a friendly face.