I seem to always think I'm immune to normal, everyday human emotions and needs... Including, hunger, having to pee, or doing anything mundane. I somehow believe that I can go without each and all of these things, or wait to the last minute, or deprive myself of them, or ignore them, or completely reject their necessity.
Instead, I am a totally unapproachable, uninhabitable island. At least on the inside.
On the outside? All agreeable and giving, easy-going, warm, and welcoming. Ridiculous, and usually I'm fooling the crowd.
But lately I've been a little over-exposed, found out, seen through. Not totally, of course, that's probably not possible, but enough that I feel human and good about it. Surprisingly good. And it's clearing the cobwebs from this life in my head and making me see more layers and depth that I had been ignoring.
I really did create the last stretch of my life -- that's not assigning meaning after conclusions, it's fact. But the strange reality is that that most likely means that I'm creating this stretch as well; and I honestly feel far from in control at the moment.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment