"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Our lives are so unnecessarily complicated by what we try to make them be that we often forget to see them for what they have the potential to become. We see potential in other people, in other lives, other ways of being, other opportunities, other everything -- and feel jealous. But we are rarely realistic about ourselves. About the fact that the only thing that separates us from the "others" is vision. We are inspired by what lies outside of us and envy it, mimic it, covet it, try to dominate it, be a part of it, anything to own it or co-opt it for ourselves. But we lack inspiration in our selves -- we lack a true belief that we are the same as everything else and harbor the same potentials.
We wake up and think, "why is that happening? why is my life like this? why? why? why?" Instead of the more obvious, "What can I make myself into? How can I evolve? Who can I become? Where can I go?" The questions we ask represent our plights and foibles -- when really we should be asking ourselves what challenges we've yet to encounter and how we can seek them out and grow.
This may all sound really over-optimistic or self-helpy, but I hope that isn't the case. Really the crux of the matter is living one's life is like creating art. Dreaming of the unimaginable and setting it into motion in life -- rather than on canvas or paper or in sound. Actually working the energy into an artistic experience of our existence. And that takes true vision and clarity of self. Something that, up until recently, I completely lacked. I had the black cloud of the beta lurking over everything in my life and dirtying my aura and I couldn't see anything except frustration, obstacles, and impending failure. But freedom from that situation has reawakened my self to the world of possibility. The art of becoming other.
Not for the sake of mimicking that which is outside myself, but for the very point of acting out an artistic version and expression of my inner self. And for the first time since I was in high school, I no longer feel acute pain and emptiness and agreement with one of the most brilliant quotes from one of the most gut-wrenching plays in the history of American theater. Tennessee Williams wrote, "We're all of us sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life!" And that quote used to weigh in the pit of me like an albatross.
But in this new manifestation of my gowth, the mirror doesn't reflect rocks, it bears the image of a cathedral.
Our lives are so unnecessarily complicated by what we try to make them be that we often forget to see them for what they have the potential to become. We see potential in other people, in other lives, other ways of being, other opportunities, other everything -- and feel jealous. But we are rarely realistic about ourselves. About the fact that the only thing that separates us from the "others" is vision. We are inspired by what lies outside of us and envy it, mimic it, covet it, try to dominate it, be a part of it, anything to own it or co-opt it for ourselves. But we lack inspiration in our selves -- we lack a true belief that we are the same as everything else and harbor the same potentials.
We wake up and think, "why is that happening? why is my life like this? why? why? why?" Instead of the more obvious, "What can I make myself into? How can I evolve? Who can I become? Where can I go?" The questions we ask represent our plights and foibles -- when really we should be asking ourselves what challenges we've yet to encounter and how we can seek them out and grow.
This may all sound really over-optimistic or self-helpy, but I hope that isn't the case. Really the crux of the matter is living one's life is like creating art. Dreaming of the unimaginable and setting it into motion in life -- rather than on canvas or paper or in sound. Actually working the energy into an artistic experience of our existence. And that takes true vision and clarity of self. Something that, up until recently, I completely lacked. I had the black cloud of the beta lurking over everything in my life and dirtying my aura and I couldn't see anything except frustration, obstacles, and impending failure. But freedom from that situation has reawakened my self to the world of possibility. The art of becoming other.
Not for the sake of mimicking that which is outside myself, but for the very point of acting out an artistic version and expression of my inner self. And for the first time since I was in high school, I no longer feel acute pain and emptiness and agreement with one of the most brilliant quotes from one of the most gut-wrenching plays in the history of American theater. Tennessee Williams wrote, "We're all of us sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life!" And that quote used to weigh in the pit of me like an albatross.
But in this new manifestation of my gowth, the mirror doesn't reflect rocks, it bears the image of a cathedral.
1 comment:
Ha ha ha.
I think I am feeling the same sensation as one of those large ladies sitting in the third row of the fire-and-brimstone church sermon yelling "Testify!"
I agree with you wholeheartedly about the incredible capacity for life-altering change possible in a simple shift of perspective.
I mean, Tennessee Williams is right... but your skin is just about the only thing that can't change.
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